10 Sex Tips Inspired by Titanic

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It’s been 16 years today since Titanic debuted, and we’re time traveling to 1997 by looking back on some of our favorite Jack and Rose moments. Instead of feeling old, why not relive the romance from the film many of us ’90s girls saw at least three times in the theater? Inspired by the swoon-worthy “Meet me by the clock” note or the tragic “I’ll never let go” goodbye, here are 10 sex tips we learned from watching Titanic.

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Draw me like one of your French girls

You already know. This is the foreplay move to end all foreplay moves. Can’t draw? Doesn’t matter, because you will be naked, lying on a fainting couch, while your non-naked lover draws you wearing this, and only this. If this does not immediately lead to hot sex, your partner is doing it wrong, and that is unacceptable. After all, as a paying customer, you expect to get what you want.

Draw me like one of your French girls

Have sex in a car

Easy enough to do if you have a car, and the only way Jack and Rose ever really did it, so it’s true to the spirit of the movie. Slapping the window to express your ecstasy during orgasm is absolutely necessary.

Be prepared to go down like gentlemen

A true gentleman (or gentlewoman) expects nothing in return for a favor. Spend one night doing sexual favors for your partner, but don’t let them pay you back in any way. You’ll learn the value of patience and be reminded that charity feels great. The next night you can switch off so that you’re on the receiving end of the pleasure, because this is an equal-opportunity sex ship we’re on here.

You jump, I jump

This is like that game you played as a child where you mimicked everything someone else did, only with sex. If you kiss your partner on the chest, they have to do the same to you, and vice versa. If they try to throw themselves off the back of a ship, get a lifeguard and call a suicide hotline.

Sex Tips Inspired by Titanic

Make each day count

As Jack Dawson says, “Life’s a gift, and I don’t intend on wasting it.” So take life as it comes at you, and make a point to do it at least once every day for a week. You never know what hand you’re gonna get dealt next, so have as much sex as you can before you’re an old lady forced to retell your life story to a douchey sea explorer who shamelessly hits on your granddaughter right in front of your face.

The Heart of the Ocean

That’s what you call your g-spot, right? Find it, and get to work. What, they didn’t teach you that in finishing school?

Take a trip to first class

Stock up on Champagne, put on your finest black-tie attire, and pretend like you’re about to eat an expensive dinner off china that’s never been used. You’ll be in the mood for fancy sex in no time. Just make sure you don’t have any watches in your pocket that don’t belong to you. Nothing ruins a night of passion like getting framed for theft.

Sex Tips Inspired by Titanic

The Ship of Dreams

Do it on a boat. Don’t have a boat? Maybe you can try a ferry during off hours. Bonus points if you play the Titanic soundtrack while you’re at it. What’s sexier than a penny whistle?

You’re the king of the world

Stand on a balcony while your man does you from behind. Put your arms in the air when you orgasm. You know what to do next:

Never let go

Put a large raft in a pool, and attempt to have sex while on top of it. First person to fall off loses, and dies.

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