How to have non-crap sex at a festival

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Music, drinks and general good spirits at a festival make a lot of us feel like getting down and dirty – but many things can go wrong, and tent sex can be a bit crap. Here are some tips help you to get a non-crap sex at a festival.

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Wellies – check, wet wipes – check, condoms…

Whether you are actively seeking some festival romance or you believe it’s strictly off the cards, condoms are as essential as your wellies. Things can and do happen and once you’re in a field miles from the nearest shops opportunities to access contraception will be few and far between so make sure you take them with you!

Remember prepare condom

Don’t get caught

Unlike most outdoor sex where you can find a secluded spot away from prying eyes – a festival is filled with thousands of revellers which makes ‘not getting caught’ a little more tricky! Timing is everything – if you’re camping, wait until the crowds are distracted by a popular band before sneaking back to your tent to indulge. If not, your options are more limited – besides the hygiene considerations, a festival portaloo has the obvious disadvantage of a constant stream of festival goers queuing outside so isn’t the most private location! If you really can’t resist the urge, again wait for a popular band to come on before finding a quiet corner a safe distance away to get busy.

Avoid the beer goggles

Much has been said about the magical powers of Beer goggles. Example; the guy with the anorak and a dodgy haircut talking into his shoe suddenly becomes uber cool and uber sexy – the drawback is that their powers are temporary – clouding your judgment long enough for you to throw caution to the wind but disappearing just as quickly to leave you with complete clarity and possibly regret. To avoid a beer goggle-induced sexual encounter, it’s a good idea to pace yourself with alcohol consumption and have a pre-agreement with trusted friends to politely intervene and stop each other doing anything you may regret later.

Save yourself (and your friends) embarrassment

Save yourself (and your friends) embarrassment

If you do decide to take your festival flirting to the next stage and head back to the tent, for your own safety it is always wise to let someone know where you are going and with who, plus if you’re sharing a tent with a friend giving them a heads up of what you are planning will help reduce the risk of any unexpected surprises and of subjecting them to an eyeful.

Watch out for group situations that go too far…

While pitching up a tent and kicking back for a few days is a major highlight of a music festival, the combination of high spirits, alcohol and tent sharing can lead to group situations which go further than you would be comfortable with normally. At the time it might seem fun to share a sexy experience with more than one person but if this is not something you would usually do you might feel differently afterwards. This can be particularly excruciating if it happens with people you know – you don’t want to spend the next year avoiding eye contact with your flatmates. Think carefully before engaging in any sexual activity that is out of character.

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